


Bite Me

by ZombieCatTookMyPudding



Category: Caillou (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, M/M, Other, POV Third Person, Parody, Pillow Hump, Romance, Slash, Stuffing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-22 14:28:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13766094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieCatTookMyPudding/pseuds/ZombieCatTookMyPudding
Summary: In yet another fight, Teddy dares Gilbert to, so he does. (Gilbert/Teddy; One-shot.)





	Bite Me

Teddy sat alone in the backyard, looking up at the stars. Usually, he would be sleeping with Caillou, as it was his bedtime, but he felt the need to be alone. Earlier today, he had gotten into a fight with Gilbert: hurtful remarks were made, things were said that couldn't be taken back, and ultimately, he had to walk away.

"Teddy?" The sound of the cat's British accent made his blood boil. (Er, or his stuffing. See, teddies don't actually _have_ any blood.) "Listen, I...know some rather harsh things were said earlier, but I'd like you to know that...I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?"

The bear gazed into his black eyes, so much like his own. Standing up, he walked over to him, and brushed a fluffy paw against his face.

"Gilbert?" he asked softly.

"Yes?"

"...Go fuck yourself, you old faggot."

"WHAT?!" Hackles raised, Gilbert's stance suddenly became much more hostile. "I shag Olly _once_ , and you have the stuffing to call me a damn _faggot?!"_

"Better believe it, faggot."

"I put up with all your 'pessimist' shit, and this is how you thank me?! You ungrateful _bitch!"_

"Yeah, well _bite me,"_ Teddy glared at him before folding his arms and walking away.

His words made Gilbert go silent. Slowly, his ears flattened, and he took a hunting position while Teddy's back was turned.

"You know what? I think I _will!"_

* * *

_Taptaptaptaptap._

Rexy stirred as he could hear the scraping against the window. He could see the shape of a squirrel.

"Deedee?" he whispered. Leaving a sleeping Caillou's side, he went up to the window to open it.

"Rexy!" her voice was quiet (well, as quiet as you _could_ get when you're Deedee) and tense. "Gilbert and Teddy are having this _huge_ fight! Come on, we need to help them!"

When Rexy followed his "little sister" into the backyard, his eyes widened at the sight in front of him: the grass around Teddy and Gilbert was covered in stuffing, and Teddy's left ear had been completely torn off. Gilbert was now digging his teeth into the back of his neck, his barbed penis thrusting him furiously through a hole he had torn where his ass should have been. (Of course, being a stuffed animal, he didn't have any organs, especially not sex ones, so Gilbert, in their fight, tore a make-shift one for him.) They were so involved with each other, they hadn't even noticed the other two members of their family standing on the other side of the yard, watching them.

"Ah, yes, Gilbert!"

"Who's the faggot, _now?!"_

In a desperate attempt to preserve some of the squirrel's innocence, Rexy covered Deedee's eyes.

"...Erm...Deedee...how about we sleep in the _front yard_ tonight?" the blue dinosaur suggested.

"But, but we can't just leave him!" Deedee pushed Rexy's paw off of her face. "Look! He's _hurting_ him!"

"Cum in my ass, Gilbert!" Teddy pleaded.

"...Let's...just go."

Before Deedee could protest any further, Rexy grabbed her by the shoulders, and guided her out to the front yard.


End file.
